18 Jun

Full disclosure: I am a really judgmental person. I always have been. As previously stated, I am very decisive (unless we’re talking about dinner, in which case I just want it to magically appear in front of my face). If I find something I haven’t already made up my mind about, I research it within an inch of its life and make a decision quickly. I like to be well-informed because I like to argue but hate to be wrong. LET’S BE FRIENDS!

I can — because I’ve had to — often (obviously, not always) separate the person from his or her decisions. Just because you circumsized your son doesn’t mean I think you’re a bad person (though I most definitely think it was a really, really regrettable choice). Maybe you scheduled a c-section or didn’t breastfeed and you plop your kid in an exersaucer for two hours at a time. We can still squeal together over how cute our babies are. I try. I try SO HARD, you guys, to be nice. Sometimes I even feel a little shameful about the path we’re on. Example: At Temple, some people asked George’s Hebrew name. He doesn’t have one; he didn’t have a bris. Would I love for him to have a naming ceremony that didn’t include genital mutilation? YES. Is that available in this community? Not that I can find. So, I hemmed and hawed and finally offered up his middle name as some kind of consolation to these strangers who have no vested interest in my son’s privates.

please don't cut my weiner off.

My best friend in all the world told me shortly after George was born that the few months after her eldest daughter’s birth was a terribly lonely time for her. Her gut told her one thing and everyone else told her others. When she finally started following her gut, she found that the world opened up to her: resources appeared and validated the choices she made with love, not herd mentality or selfishness (the desire for more sleep, more time to ourselves, unencumbered life-in-general). I was lucky to have been given that bit of wisdom so early on, and the freedom to be a loving, intentional parent has made my decisions a lot easier.


3 Responses to “judgment”

  1. Autumn June 18, 2010 at 7:40 pm #

    I am terrible at hiding my judgement…terrible. It might be one of my best and worst traits. I also stare at pretty people without realizing it, that one falls more into the ‘worst’. Also, how is George so cute when he cries??

  2. Restoring Tally June 19, 2010 at 5:55 am #

    We all make judgments of others. Some of us just let people know that they are being judged more than others. 🙂 But, people only complain about being judged when it is an unfavorable verdict.

    I can understand that some parents are ignorant about various aspects of child rearing. Their ignorance can be corrected. But, I cannot understand those who are capable of understanding why something should not be done, like infant circumcision, but insist on having it done because “they are the parents.” Parental perogative is not a valid reason to mutilate the healthy genitalia of a child.


  1. george lejeunesse, freaking out squares since 2009 « very, very fine - August 25, 2010

    […] deceased person to honor, but now there is, and that’s kind of that. We’ve already discussed the other part of the naming ceremony that we won’t be inflicting (that’s right, […]

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