tradition!

Welcome to the December Carnival of Natural Parenting: Let’s Talk Traditions

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama.

Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

A certain newborn may be faulted for our procurement of a 2009 holiday tree at what some might call the last possible second — Christmas Eve — but in actuality I think we could’ve managed a trip to the tree lot if there’d been some kind of pre-set plan. A presumed time with corresponding stop at cute cafe and a swing by the most festive neighborhood lights display before heading home to drink cocoa in our matching Hanna Andersson jammies. Also, you know, two-thirds of us are Jewish, so this may not have been a realistic scenario. But you get the idea.

Since George has been alive, I’ve put my holiday planning into overdrive which, to me, is really intense but, to you, might look significantly…um, less so. Not impressed by that L’Shana Tovah banner I hung in the front window for Rosh Hashanah, eh? Well, I tried.

This year, we’ve persevered despite having a two week-old sapping our energy as one of our thirtieth birthdays passed by and realizing the night before Thanksgiving that we may not have money to buy the makings for the standard Macy’s Parade-watching quiche (we scraped it together). But, do I want George to be a part of a make-it-work-with-a-little-felt-and-a-WIC-check kind of family? Little by little, we’re getting it in gear and I’m pleased to report that Hanukkah has been our best showing yet. Homemade food, homemade gifts, thoughtfulness in the place/face of blatant consumerism and as much family time as we could muster with a papa who works two jobs. That said, our biggest, most tradition-y effort still lies ahead.

I’ve talked a little bit about George’s naming ceremony, or brit shalom, in the past, but it, like his first birthday, always seemed a loooooong ways off. We chose a name to honor a very special lady, picked a date for the party and made the invitations, and even THEN its imminence didn’t sink in. We’re now at T minus about two weeks, and I am staring down the barrel of the first culturally significant milestone of my baby’s life. An event steeped in tradition. And meaning. And I’m a floppy felt banner in the window sort of mom.

This was all giving me a serious case of the worries until one of our dear friends said something that I know resonated with, well… everyone in the room at the time, because it applied to all of us in different ways. Your children won’t remember that you’re poor; they’ll remember that you loved them. Will George look back on photos of his naming ceremony and birthday party and think, “Wow! What a tiny, crappy house! And you couldn’t spring for a real mohel?”? Or will he see all the friends and family? Will he see the homemade food and decorations for the loving contributions they were? I needed to check myself and stop reading so many design blogs.

The facts are these: We aren’t wealthy. We aren’t organized. We aren’t a traditional family. But we’re creative, and as I assembled and addressed the invitations to George’s naming ceremony and birthday party this evening, I took heart in that. Because some years, we might not get a tree until Christmas Eve. We might have fettuccine alfredo for Thanksgiving dinner and make Purim costumes out of the Goodwill bag. But I’d bet money that in the pictures, we’ll be smiling. And that’s a tradition I can get behind.

***

Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Traditions? What traditions? — Olivia at Write About Birth needs your advice: how can she make the most of the holiday season in a new country with only her immediate family? (@writeaboutbirth)
• TRADITION!!!!!! — Ella at My Intentional Journey reminds us all to be thankful for family traditions; there are those who have none.
• tradition! — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine came to realize that families can make incredible memories, even if they’re not wealthy (or organized).
• Taking a child’s perspective on traditions — Lauren at Hobo Mama wants to keep in mind how important even the mundane traditions will be to her little ones. (@Hobo_Mama)
• Sunday Dinners and Lullabies — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment finds traditions in the small things throughout the year.
• Simple Family Advent Traditions — Michelle at The Parent Vortex crafted a set of advent bags with daily surprises to eat and to do. (@TheParentVortex)
• Parenting: Family Meetings – A Timeless Tradition — Amy Phoenix at Innate Wholeness discusses a year-round tradition in her household: Family Meetings. (@InnateWholeness)
• Our Mindful Holidays — They may not be “traditional” traditions, but they fit the family of Kellie at Our Mindful Life.
• Our Holiday Traditions, New and Old — Even with three young children, Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings is finding ways to be intentional and meaningful about holiday traditions. (@sunfrog)
• Our Cupcake Custom — Amy at Anktangle knows celebrations need minimal excuse and lots of cupcakes! (@anktangle)
• On the bunny slope of tradition-making — Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama is finding her groove as a holistic-minded mama with a joyful holiday spirit. (@crunchychewy)
• No, Virginia, There Is Not a Santa Claus — Just because her family is not going to do Santa, does not mean that Sheila at A Gift Universe can’t instill some mystery and magic into Christmas. (@agiftuniverse)
• New Traditions — Becky at Future Legacy shares a few traditions she is starting for her family, including popovers, a birthday banner, and service.
• My Holiday Family Traditions — The Artsymama continues a long tradition of adopting family members and sharing two favorite games that work well for a crowd.
• Mindfully Creating Family Traditions — Alison at BluebirdMama has ideas for celebrating birthdays, Valentine’s Day, and Christmas — though her family’s still figuring some of it out. (@bluebirdmama)
• Memorable Traditions — Lori Ann at MamaWit follows four mindful steps when instituting any tradition.
• Let’s Talk Traditions — Lily, aka Witch Mom shares her family’s traditions that are centered on the wheel of the year. (@lilyshahar)
• Homeschool Christmas — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now did not always celebrate the Christmas season in the same way with her family, but they always celebrated together. (@DebChitwood)
• Holidays, food and family — For Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood, the holidays are about family and food. (@crunchymamato2)
• Giving Christmas to the Critter — Rachael at The Variegated Life has found a way to tie her Zen practices to the Christmas story of the baby in the manger. (@RachaelNevins)
• Family Traditions + To Santa Or Not To Santa — Stop by Natural Parents Network to discover some of the traditions from other natural parents. NPN is also featuring snippets of posts from NP bloggers on the topic of whether to encourage children to believe in Santa Claus. (@NatParNet)
• Family Tradition Origins — Momma Jorje discusses her family’s traditions, and her desire not to make anyone feel obligated to conform to them.
• Everyday Traditions — For Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children it’s the small, daily traditions that make life special.
• Establishing Traditions and Older Child Adoption — MrsH at Fleeting Moments is trying to find ways to start traditions with a family that was made very quickly through birth and adoption.
• Emerging Family Traditions — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! shares some of her favorite birthday and Christmas traditions. (@bfmom)
• Does Rebellion Count? — Seonaid at the Practical Dilettante has instituted a day of rest and PJs at her house on Christmas. (@seonaid_lee)
• December Carnival of Natural Parenting: Family Traditions — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker tries to give her girls a mix of traditions to foster togetherness — but worries that not being near extended family is a disconnect.
• Craft-tea Christmas Celebrations — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud created a delicious Christmas tradition that she named “Craft-tea.”
• A Christmas Tradition — Luschka at Diary of a First Child knows that even though she won’t be able to have her usual holiday traditions this year, the important thing is that she has her family. (@lvano)
• Celebrations without the Holiday — Asha at Meta Mom shares several ways to celebrate the winter holidays without focusing on religious traditions. (@metamomma)
• Celebrating the Journey We Have Traveled Together — Acacia at Be Present enjoys the chance to draw closer to her family during the Christmas holiday.
• Celebrating Motherhood — Do you celebrate the day you became a mother? Dionna at Code Name: Mama offers some ideas for traditions to mark your passage into motherhood. (@CodeNameMama)
• Celebrate! Winter Traditions Brought Home. — At True Confessions of a Real Mommy, TrueRealMommy and her family are celebrating many different religions and traditions this month. Stop by to see their schedule of events. (@TrueRealMommy)
• “Always Ready”, Holiday Style — Amy at Toddler In Tow discovered that it’s not the traditions themselves, but the emotional experience behind them that makes them special.

put on your yarmulke

This was the first night of Hanukkah last year:

I was about to burst, we kind of half-assed it. My celebratory glass of wine put me right to sleep.

This year, we were (almost) totally ready at sunset. Presents wrapped, food cooking, baby’s new mama-made kippah loosely attached to whatever wispy hairs we could snag.

George helped to light the candles. He ate some of the challah we ran all over town to find this afternoon.
Mama got a new calendar; Papa got a new coat.

We learned that one of us doesn’t like couscous

But really likes paper bags.

This Hanukkah, when we celebrate miracles, I am most thankful that this — my commonplace — feels so miraculous.

thumbs up for hanukkah

Happy Holidays.

radical motherhood

The term radical motherhood seems like such a laughable dichotomy. What could be less radical than the act of bearing and raising children? It’s fundamental, necessary, so commonplace that it’s completely taken for granted that most women will do it. Just typing the two words together brings to mind the time I gave a little workshop in radical homemaking for Ladyfest Bellingham, when a very earnest-looking young woman asked skeptically, after I’d given directions for making your own cleaning products and growing your own food and using some home remedies, “…but what makes this radical?” It was a good question, and I didn’t take offense. We’ve all grown up with the idea that homemaking — the choice to (at least temporarily) forego a paid career — is to squander the advances we’ve made, allowing the small part of the glass ceiling over your own head to grow closed. To say that you are most valuable in the most traditionally female role is equatable with failure, so it seems, to many (if not most) young Feminists. My answer, which I know was rambly, amounted to: I’m not taking part in the traditional consumerism, the laissez-faire approach to childbirth and rearing or the stereotypical household realpolitik. She didn’t seem convinced.

I don’t usually let this kind of skepticism or even the occasional blatant dismissal bother me. I hesitate to put this sort of spin on it, but I’ve been their age and I’ve also been (and remain) a zealot and absolutist about a few things. One mindset I can decreasingly abide, though: the having-babies-is-gross-and-stupid one. It is reaching totally epic plague-like proportions. And it is pissing me off.

In my experience, it started with comments like, “your baby is really cute. But procreating is environmentally irresponsible.” Or “I would never have kids but I plan to adopt older ones, like teenagers.” And “don’t you worry about bringing another person into the world?” All of those, and more, have been said to or asked of me by people I consider friends. Those are (kind of naïve) lead-ins to conversations I’m not interested in having, though I can appreciate that others want or need to have them; the merit of my child’s presence in the world is one thing I don’t care to debate. If you want to hook me, though, you can bring my devotion to Feminism into question. You can snark on other women for wanting to have or having children. Those are the conversations I just can’t pass up.

A self-imposed rule I routinely break is don’t read the comments. Truly, it’s advice to be heeded, but curiosity or morbidity or optimism maybe gets the best of me and I can’t help it. A blog post pops up on my RSS feed about the “controversy” of public breastfeeding and I want all of the comments to be supportive. To agree with me. And more often than not, if the blog isn’t a straightforward crunchy mom-blog, I’m sorely disappointed. Case in point: I won’t even link to it because I don’t want them to reap a single page view from my mention, but a popular Feminist blog recently ran a story on Lily Allen’s second miscarriage which is technically, I believe, late enough in the game to officially be a stillbirth. Any woman — forget that, any decent person — ‘s heart should positively ache for her. Instead, I read comments that blamed her for publicly discussing her personal life, for “putting all her eggs in one basket” when she had stated that she planned to take some time off from music, for even wanting to have children in the first place when she “should” be using her celebrity to advocate for adoption. I was astounded by the sheer heartlessness of these women whose fake names I’ve seen in many, many other comment threads on this particular website. They’re not trolls, they’re just…jerks. Jerks with an apparently common distaste for biological motherhood who see fit to spout nastiness on a website supposedly devoted to Feminist causes, and who do so unchecked.

In my own personal life, I’ve been treated as quaint or lazy, but the most frustrating is when I’m treated as an unwitting tool of the patriarchy. A few brave souls have taken it upon themselves to explain that I’m not living up to my potential or claim that I’m serving as a bad example for my son who will undoubtedly grow up to exploit and demean women at worst, or at best assume they’ll cater to his every whim. These people clearly know nothing of my housekeeping habits or cooking skills. These are women in their early twenties. Childless. Some go to school. Some are even unemployed. But all of them have considered themselves sage enough to dispense advice that boiled down to: DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE.

To those women, and to the women I’ll never meet who anonymously comment that they don’t want to see me feed my child in public because it’s base, that by not “contributing” I’m reversing the work my foremothers did, that I’m wrecking the environment, that I’m insipid and cliché:
You were once a child. Had someone taken the time to teach you manners, history, reverence, gardening, happy songs and good books, nurtured you into a tolerant and understanding person who is able to relate intellectually and socially to people who make choices that you, yourselves, may someday make (or may not; tolerance shouldn’t rely on commonality), we wouldn’t be having this conversation. But I can tell you this: my son won’t need a degree in gender studies. He won’t need to buy zines about slow foods and herbal remedies. He won’t turn to an insular clique to find community because he will have been raised by radical people with a radical community of their own. My time IS spent wisely, doing valuable work that benefits my world, and, for that matter, yours. It’s unfortunate that you can’t see the value of a good mother (as, equally unfortunately, the results of good mothering are, by nature, less in-your-face and remarkable than the results of bad mothering). I wish my current chosen occupation came with the same hipster quotient as, say… the person that fixes your bicycle. But we’ll just keep on keepin’ on, being radically, uncoolly domestic. And, in the future, you can even reap the benefits; I won’t be stingy.

jam on it

We’re lucky enough to live in a house where, in the far back of the property, blackberry bushes grow undeterred all Summer long. Some might not call this luck. In fact, some might gripe about how they have to get a new weedeater to combat the attempted take-over of the garden and back fence. The same person(s) might be eating some words…and some jam, right about now.

I used a combination of the directions found inside the pectin package and those found here.

I got the no sugar needed type of pectin and sweetened the jam with some really nice raw honey that my mom gave us. It is outrageous. Perfectly sweet and honey-tasty but still a little tart.

George hung out (pun intended, har har) in the sling while I cooked and canned and Nathan photodocumented. He was unimpressed.

We shared a slice of toast with some butter and the last bit of jam left in the pot after I’d filled the jars. This Fall and Winter it will be so good on our oatmeal and kasha (and bread, and by the spoonful).

I didn’t bother with the canning-specific pot you’re “supposed” to have and just used our giant stockpot which seems to have worked; my lid buttons are sucked in and the stuff has set. A tip I read, though, which was heartening when I decided to try jam-making: if it doesn’t set or your lid buttons don’t pop down, you can re-make the same batch or just put the jam in the fridge or freezer and it’ll keep.

The breakdown:
4 cups of berries (harvested throughout the Summer and frozen) = free
1 cup of honey = gift from mom
1/4 cup of sugar = we’ll say .50, just to be generous. It’s organic, but that’s still probably an overestimate.
1 package of no sugar needed pectin = 2.39
mason jars and lids = already had
jam funnel thing = .99
TOTAL = 3.88. For three jars! Awesome! Is my math right? Who cares.

This was way easier than I thought it would be and only took a little over an hour from start to finish. I also got exactly the flavor I wanted and know exactly from where all my ingredients came. I’m stoked to take on my next canning project: green tomato, ginger and vanilla jam. I know, it sounds gross.

those who can’t teach

Welcome to the September Carnival of Natural Parenting: We’re all home schoolers

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how their children learn at home as a natural part of their day. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

If we lived in another part of the country, one of my friends recently pointed out, we’d be vying for a spot in a choice preschool right now. In fact, for certain preschools, we’d have already been accepted or denied based on an assessment of our at-home routines, plans for the future both near and distant and “philosophies.” The thought of putting on my best button-up blouse and smug half smile to sit opposite some douche in an Aeron chair and justify my parenting style in order to be granted the opportunity to write a check for thousands of dollars — ugh. It makes me shudder so hard you might mistake my disgust for a sort of rhythmless shimmy.

Luckily, we don’t live in New York or LA or any other place so cutthroat as to pit infants against each other. There’s an abundance of small preschools, co-op schools, Montessori and Waldorf schools and preschools of the arts in Bellingham, and many of them are steps from our front door. On our walks, George and I like to stop at the schools’ fences to watch kids play for a few moments before we move on to chase a neighborhood cat or admire someone’s garden. It’s undeniable that George likes people, likes to engage socially a lot more than I do and I can’t see this changing before it’s time to start thinking about school. And yet.

My main criticism of homeschooling involves humility. It takes someone with a high opinion of her (or him)self to homeschool. You have to be so confident in your ability to provide all the knowledge your child needs that you forsake other in-person input. Of course, there’s reference. There’s the library and the internet and “field trips.” But you, as a parent, are the keystone…and all the other stones, and like 3/5 of the gargoyles on top of the building. Your bias becomes theirs, for better or worse, by design or otherwise. And knowing all this, feeling the way I do… I would still consider homeschooling George for the first couple of years at least.

See, Bellingham is a liberal town for sure. Everyone recycles. Everyone rides their bike and shops at the co-op and wants or has chickens and loves composting with a passion they used to reserve for Death Cab circa ’06 or Obama, for those two months in 2008 when they cared about politics. But! These are tricksy hippies who fool you with their homebrew and yearly contribution to Planned Parenthood; they are just yuppies in disguise. Yuppies who don’t love Emma Goldman. Who don’t daydream about Summerhill. Who don’t appear on the no-fly list for their involvement with the ALF (um… I mean… not that I know anyone who fits that description).
There’s an odd sort of dichotomy at play with these folks and their kids. They advocate for educational freedom, as long as that freedom includes really extensive knowledge of OPEC. They support the arts, but “the arts” are kind of bad acrylic paintings they purchased to justify the “buy art not cocaine” sticker on their Subaru. They call their Subaru a suby. CUTE! There’s no place that I’ve heard of or seen, yet, in town, that offers real democratic schooling or even some version of AS Neill’s model but is also academically rigorous. Why does educational freedom have to equal linen pants and lessons in blackberry picking, you guys?!

This, for me, is the crux of the issue. I want my son to enjoy learning, but I want him to learn valuable lessons. I want his inherent curiosity to remain intact but I don’t believe his every fascination should be thoroughly indulged at the expense of other knowledge. I want him to be happy, confident and well-adjusted but I also want him to be smart, with marketable skills that will enable him to earn a living. Am I thinking too far ahead? Maybe, but I’m operating under the assumption that good habits start early. This is why we haven’t signed up for infant classes at the community college (yet — report from friend pending), why we may not be sending our child to school. Why I’d rather we listen to dynamic and honest music than kidsbop, watch documentaries and Stan Brakhage films than wow wow wubbzy. Why I don’t speak to my son like he’s a half-deaf dog. Because, despite (and because of) my acknowledgement that homeschooling is equatable with a superiority complex, I think I am pretty damned well equipped to teach my son to learn on his own. If that just makes me a different kind of douche, well, you heard it here first.

***

Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated September 14 with all the carnival links.)

• A is for Apple {But right now it’s more fun to pick apples!} — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment has a four-year-old who wisely knows she must forgo the worksheets for now and do things with her mother if she’s going to learn.
• Baby Talks — Amy at Anktangle talks, talks, talks all day long to her preverbal baby, about simple things and complexities. (@anktangle)
• Baby University: Little Man, My Teacher — The ArtsyMama shares how her relaxed and patient “teaching” at home resulted in a confident little one when she returned to work.
• Creating a Sensory Garden — A sensory garden has given Marita at Stuff With Thing and her girls practice in math, science, budgeting, fine motor skills, and more. (@leechbabe)
• Despite the Big Yellow Bus — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante has surprised many friends by sending her kids off to mainstream schooling — but their learning doesn’t stop there. (@seonaid_lee)
• Down on the Farm — Megan at Purple Dancing Dhalias describes the multitude of skills her children learn by homeschooling on a farm.
• Early Childhood Education — First Do No Harm — Laura at Laura’s Blog provides an incredible list of tips to facilitate learning at home.
• Education Starts At Home — Luschka at Diary of a First Child was happy to realize that learning at home isn’t limited to older children. (@lvano)
• Every Day Is A School Day — Summer at Finding Summer lists the ways her family learns in this poem of a post. (@summerminor)
• hands on — the grumbles at grumbles and grunts read her little one Sherlock Holmes in utero. She’ll continue to make learning fun now that he’s on this side of the womb. (@thegrumbles)
• Have a Happy Heart — Erica at ChildOrganics has days of poop on the couch and oatmeal down the pants when sending her children to school seems like the perfect solution — until she regains her perspective. (@childorganics)
• Home Sweet Home Schooling — Check out CurlyMonkey’s Blog for a photo montage of how her kids are learning anatomy, architecture, and more — all at home. (@curlymonkey_)
• Homeschooling — My Needs? — Do you homeschool for the kids, or do you do it for you? Read some thoughts from Home Grown Families. (@momtosprouts)
• Homeschooling: A Way of Life — Kimberly at Homeschooling in Nova Scotia has children who meet learning with enthusiasm and are becoming self-sufficient at a young age. (@UsborneBooksCB)
• How We Homeschooled — Deb at Living Montessori Now details in retrospect how her two lifelong learners spent their homeschooling years. (@DebChitwood)
• Learning at Home With a Preschooler and Toddler — Need some inspiration? Michelle at The Parent Vortex shares her tips and resources for lifelong learning. (@TheParentVortex)
• Learning at Home: Are We All Homeschoolers? — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings incorporates homeschool ideas even though she plans to send her kids to school. (@sunfrog)
• Learning From Life — Mamapoekie at Authentic Parenting doesn’t even have to think about how her daughter learns. She just does it. (@mamapoekie)
• Learning Through Play — What better way to learn at home than through play? Dionna at Code Name: Mama lists the many ways children learn through play, whether they know it or not. (@CodeNameMama)
• Learning With Savoury Pikelets — Deb at Science@Home breaks down how cooking facilitates learning. (@ScienceMum)
• Lessons Learned by Bowling (Yes, Bowling) — What life lessons can you learn from bowling? Ask Jessica from This is Worthwhile. (@tisworthwhile)
• Life is learning, learning is life. — Kristin, guest posting at Janet Fraser — Where birth and feminism intersect, defends the truth that children are hardwired to learn. (@JoyousLearning)
• life learning… — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children found that structured schooling is about teaching, whereas unschooling is about learning, and her family resonated with the latter.
• Live to Learn Together — RealMommy at True Confessions of a Real Mommy knows that children learn in all different styles, so only one-on-one attention can do the trick.
• Natural Parenting and the Working Mom — Jenny from Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares how natural parenting in the Philippines — and learning at home — includes “yayas” (nannies). (@crazydigger)
• Not Back to School: How We Learn at Home — Denise at This Holistic Life has learned to describe what unschooling is, rather than what it isn’t.
• Our Learning Curve — Andrea of Ella-Bean & Co. has a special bookshelf set up where her daughter can explore the world on her own terms.
• School at Our House — Where is learning happening at Kellie at Our Mindful Life’s house? It is pouring all over the floor. It is digging down deep in the earth. It is everywhere!
• Schooling Three Little Piggies — Despite the mess and the chaos, Melissa at White Noise lets her children into the kitchen.
• SuperMom versus The Comic Books of Doom! — Mommy Soup at Cream of Mommy Soup realized that if “getting the kids to read” was the goal, it didn’t matter what the kids read. (@mommysoup)
• The joy of learning at home — Heather at Life, Gluten Free has a daughter who sees magic in the stars and understands the honeybees. (@lifeglutenfree)
• those who can’t teach — Do you need a superiority complex to homeschool? Stefanie at Very, Very Fine wonders.
• Too lazy to unschool? — If unschoolers aren’t lazy, Lauren at Hobo Mama wonders if she’s too lazy to live her dream of free-form education. (@Hobo_Mama)
• Unschooling the School of Me — Rachael at The Variegated Life considers what she’s teaching her son about work as a work-at-home mother — and the extreme work ethic she doesn’t want him to emulate. (@RachaelNevins)
• What We Do All Day — Alison at BluebirdMama discovered that it’s easier than she thought it would be to quantify how her child learns all day. (@childbearing)
• Who taught that kid ‘exoskeleton’? — Nervous about how you will facilitate learning at home? Don’t be – they will absorb things on their own! Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma shares her story. (@kitchenwitch)

apropos

Here I am, accurately represented.

Shirt half off, stuffing some sort of sweet into my mouth. Rather, having a sweet stuffed into my mouth.
Sunglass-ed, with a pile of stuff sitting next to me. Maybe this doesn’t ever strike others, or maybe it only strikes people with a twinge (or more) of body dysmorphia, but I don’t often see photos of myself and think, well, there I am. That’s what I look like.

love letters home

Today, after a thoroughly nice first birthday party for a very sweet, toothy little boy, my own fell asleep in the car — something he hardly ever does, but has done twice in the past week. I decided to drive and let him sleep; it had been a long day, and he’d certainly wake up in transfer from seat to house. The light, the rare heat, the sleepy calm all made me homesick. It was a perfect day for driving to LA, for pointing out to George the signs depicting fleeing families, the top of the Matterhorn, the graffiti. For driving with the windows rolled down and cursing the traffic, for meandering those wide, smooth freeways that intersect and loop above. The comfort of the road beneath you, so well planned.
I sometimes think about George’s future, the childhood he’ll have versus the one he won’t. He will not have the luxury of avoiding Mission Beach for its tourist traps and dirty sand. Or the tamarind and chili paste to hate and eat anyway and learn to love. He won’t have the top of the Matterhorn to look out for.
California, its sunshine and lilting speech, its monuments to Mexico, to excess, to sentimentalism, its burritos, late hours and mall manicures are home to me as much as my own furniture. But my son was born here, with the potable water, the performance fleece. That a-preceding-g combination that sounds, to my ears, like drowning cats. His roadtrip won’t be Los Angeles but down the Mt. Baker Highway, past free manure signs and collapsed barns, a countryside you can almost hear sighing with self-satisfaction as you pass at 55 mph. So we drove it today, as he slept, as consolation. His first summertime, dusky hot and daydreamy car ride.
Later, though, we’ll do the real one together.

try, try again

Welcome to the July Carnival of Natural Parenting: Let’s Talk About Food

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about their struggles and successes with healthy eating. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

I am the first to admit that I’m a lackluster housefrau — cleaning takes a backseat to going for walks; cooking is mainly left to my (much better chef of a) partner; laundry gets done… well, when it gets done. I have books on these topics and I’ve read them all. Devoured them! A good cookbook, beautifully photographed and wittily composed is one of my most treasured bookstore finds. I dog ear the recipes that sound most delicious and vow to work my way through those before tackling the ones with main ingredients I find less than tempting. (Beets? Err…we’ll wait ’til Fall.) If I make three dishes from one book, however, it’s a feat to be commended because I enjoy the hunt a lot more than the preparation.
But now — now, we’re on a budget. Because guess what, you guys: teachers don’t make a lot of money! And stay at home moms, if you can believe it, get paid exactly NOTHING. I mean…those cherished moments with my son don’t exactly keep us in spelt pasta and agave nectar for my tea, if you know what I mean. So, we are at an impasse with our family diet. I flatly refuse to feed George anything that isn’t certified organic though we are living barely above the poverty line; there are just too many scary things in non-organic foods. I want his little body learning to navigate our living room without stepping on cats, not sagging under the weight of neurotoxins and carcinogens and dyes that make him hyperactive.
Well, it turns out that vegetables — ones you grow in your own backyard — are practically free if you start them from seeds. Vegetables you don’t grow yourself are still cheaper than a three-times-a-week burrito habit, and can be bought from — get this! — the people who grow them! If I had a mind to, which I often do, I could mosey on down to the farmer’s market on Saturday and, for ten to fifteen dollars, purchase an astounding haul of colorful gorgeousness from my neighbors. And the next week, I can come back and say hey, neighbor, thanks for that beautiful chard/those crazy fiddlehead ferns/the garlic-looking thing I’ve forgotten the name of!
The availability of wholesome food isn’t going to make me a better cook any more than my collection of unused cookbooks. But one thing it does: makes me a more enthusiastic consumer. Friendly farmers and dairy owners soften the blow of not being able to eat out when I want. The bummer of poverty is often feeling deprived. If I can support my community, feed my family with a clear conscience and spend my days feeling energetic and healthy, I can’t imagine feeling like I wont for anything at the dinner table.

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated July 13 with all the carnival links.)

• Welcome to Two — All About Food — In case you hadn’t heard, there is a conspiracy afoot from the two year olds of the world. Shana at Tales of Minor Interest stumbled onto their newsletter!
• Four Seasons of Eating Locally — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction has pointers for what fresh produce can be found year-round. (@MBJunction)
• Happy Families Can Have More Than One Diet — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has figured out a way for her family to live happily as vegans and vegetarians with relatives who eat meat. (@DebChitwood)
• My Own Omnivore’s Dilemma — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante prioritizes responsible consumer choices for her family.
• No Gluten — No Cry — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma learned to cook balanced meals when her son’s food sensitivities prompted a diet overhaul. (@kitchenwitch)
• Try, Try Again — Stefanie at very very fine has become an enthusiastic consumer of locally grown food.
• CSA — Week 1 — Casey at What Love Is wants her children to know where their food comes from, so she joined a friendly CSA. (@CBerbs)
• Food: Parenting or Homemaking? — Michelle at The Parent Vortex sees food as part of a parent’s nurturing role. (@TheParentVortex)
• 5 Tips to Help Kids Develop Healthy Eating Habits — If you struggle with healthy eating, helping your child develop healthy habits might be a challenge. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares five easy tips that will help your kids learn to make good food choices. (@CodeNameMama)
• Family Food: Seeking Balance Between Healthy, Sustainable & Affordable — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings has a whole list of ideas for how she can improve her family’s eating, both now and into the future. (@sunfrog)
• Whole Foods in, Wholesome Feelings Out — Jessica at This is Worthwhile has turned her back on the processed, preservative-ridden food of her childhood. (@tisworthwhile)
• When to Splurge on Organic (and When It Is Okay to Skip It) — Becoming Mamas tell you what foods to prioritize when buying pricier organic food, and where you can find it cheaper. (@becomingmamas)
• A Locavore’s Family Meal — Acacia at Be Present Mama tells a story in pictures of her family taking a trip to the local organic farmers market and then preparing a summer meal together with their bounty.
• Eat Your Food, or Else — Why should we not bribe a child to eat? TwinToddlersDad from Littlestomaks (Science Driven Real Life Toddler Nutrition) explains. (@TwinToddlersDad)
• Food, Glorious Food! — Luschka at Diary of a First Child describes three easy ways her family has started eating healthier. (@diaryfirstchild)
• Celebrating Food — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog believes in food as medicine and thinks it’s worth paying more to keep healthy. (@myzerowaste)
• Oil and Yogurt — What have you been motivated to do with the current oil spill crisis? midnightfeedings has started making her own yogurt. (@midnightfeeding)
• Growth-Spurt Soup (AKA “Beannut Stew”) — BeanMa has a special stew to help her baby through growth spurts that keep her up all night. (@thebeanma)
• Why I Love The Real Food Community — Much like many people who follow AP/NP values, Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! takes the parts of the “real food” philosophy that work for her family and leaves the rest. (@bfmom)
• Feeding a Family of Six — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children gives helpful tips for feeding a family of six.
• Starting Solids at 6 Months — Did your doctor recommend that you give your baby cereal? Sheryl at Little Snowflakes discusses how whole foods are so much healthier (and more delicious) than traditional cereal. (@sheryljesin)
• Am I What I Eat? — Andrea!!! at Ella-Bean & Co. has figured out a way to avoid grocery stores nearly altogether.
• Are We Setting Our Kids Up To Fail? — Megan at Purple Dancing Dahlias found that cutting out the junk also transformed her sons’ behavior problems.
• Changing your family’s way of eating — Lauren at Hobo Mama has techniques you can try to move your family gradually toward a healthier diet. (@Hobo_Mama)
• Real Food — What kinds of fake foods do you eat? And why?! Lisa C. at My World Edenwild talks about why she chooses real food.
• A Snackaholic’s Food Battle — Julie at Simple Life wants to stop snacking and get into the old ways of cooking from scratch and raising her own food. (@homemakerjulie)
• Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm)
• How Do You Eat When You Are out of Town? — Cassie at There’s a Pickle In My Life wants some tips on how to eat healthy when you are out of town.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Food! — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker hopes that by serving her children healthy, balanced meals, they will become accustomed to making good food choices. (@sybilryan)
• There’s No Food Like Home’s — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing revels in the Bajan food of her upbringing. (@BlkWmnDoBF)
• This Mom’s Food Journey — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment made a journey from not paying attention to food to growing her own.
• Who Knew Eating Was So Hard? — The challenges involved in changing to healthier eating habits take on a whole new dimension when you have a child who has difficulties eating. kadiera at Our Little Acorn shares her own experiences. (@kadiera)
• Loving Food — Starr at Earth Mama truly believes food is her family’s medicine and is willing to spend days preparing it the traditional way.
• Food Mindfulness — Danielle at born.in.japan details how her family spends money on each category of food. (@borninjp)
• Food for Little People — Zoey at Good Goog wants to bless her daughter with happy traditions built around good food. (@zoeyspeak)
• Eat Like a Baby — Have you been told that you should not equate food with love? Kate Wicker at Momopoly shows us why that’s not necessarily true. (@Momopoly)
• Food — Deb at Science@Home tries to teach her children three rules to help them eat a healthy diet. (@ScienceMum)
• Healthy Eating Lactose-Free — MamanADroit gives us tips on how to eat healthy if you are lactose intolerant (or just don’t want cow milk). (@MamanADroit)

quick change trousers

George’s six month well child check is today, replete with shots. I figured nothing softens the blow of unexpected pain and the corresponding confusion like a new outfit, right?! So, last night, I tried another pattern from Anna Maria Horner’s book Handmade Beginnings. Like the other two projects I’ve made from this book, the quick change trousers turned out super cute and made up quickly. They’re fully reversible which I could not love more and the back yoke detail is simple but adds a lot of interest to what would otherwise be really plain pants.
(In the morning light George is so pale he looks like he’s glowing. Wonder where he gets that.)
They are undeniably hippy pants, but I love all the fabrics I used and I know I’ll be sad when I have to pack them away for the next baby.

Now we just need to hop the ferry to Orcas for a little hippy vacation.

baby in the hood

I had been waiting, breath bated for Anna Maria Horner’s new book, Handmade Beginnings to come out. I’d seen a few of the patterns and thought the mariposa nursing tunic looked, well, LESS like a maternity shirt than all the other nursing clothes I’ve seen. So I bought the book on sale and was so pleasantly surprised to find lots of other projects that actually align with my aesthetic pretty well. This is rare in the sewing world, unfortunately. Though I’ve been sewing for like 20 years, primarily with patterns, I very rarely find something just like what I was wishing for. I got the book in the mail and promptly made two (different!!) nursing tops — photos maybe later, if I am looking cute — and the “baby in the hood” jacket for George. It is precious, made up in about 2 hours with some pattern alterations (I didn’t fully line it, summertime coming and all), and fits him with a little room to grow in the 9 month size. My little butterball.

I’m so glad to be using up some of my fabric stash and I’m totally validated in my habit of keeping weird little scraps because I lined the sleeves with one scrap and made the hood stripe and button placket with another.

I am already having anxiety about George’s upcoming phase of hating mama-made stuff. I went through one, albeit a brief one where I eventually just learned to sew, and I’m sure my mum was bummed.